I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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