4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
