Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
