Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Sponge bath it is.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize