Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
