its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
