You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize