He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize