Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
