yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
