Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
