windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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