Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
