I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
