They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
