pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
