i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
