I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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