you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize