just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
