Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
40s are totally the cure
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
