I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
