Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Houston, we have a squirter
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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