I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
