Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize