hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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