Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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