..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
