I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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