the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
