He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
