Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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