we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Randomize
