My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
