We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I want to fling myself into the sun
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
