Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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