We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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