Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
