Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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