I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
