loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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