Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
