You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
