How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
God I need to hump something, right now.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
