I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
