this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
