you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
