how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
