The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
