What tipped you off? The sombrero?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
