Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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