I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
