jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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