There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize