I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize