We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
