Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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