Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Randomize