Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
