dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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